LEAVING
When God first made the woman and brought her to Adam, surely he was thrilled to now have a companion that was a perfect fit for him. I don't think God needed to show them a training video for them to know what to do together. When Adam saw her he made one of the greatest declarations of all time about marriage and what should happen in the relationship. "Then the man said, 'This as last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." Exactly what did Adam say and what was added by God for them to understand? We don't know for sure. It's clear that Adam said she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, that she would be called woman since she was taken out of the man. When he used the word, "Therefore" and gave directions about marriage and family from that day forward it was probably the words of God. Adam had no knowledge of a father and mother, thus no understanding of leaving them to hold on to his wife. But God whe made them, knew what was required for the relationship to work.
From the beginning God told them it would be necessary for the marriage for both the man and the woman to "leave" their mother and dad and "hold fast" to their wife or husband. It is all too common to see marriages in trouble because one or both couldn't bear to leave their parents and the result is they are never able to hold fast to their mate. Usually this whole thing works better if the couple literally leave mom and dad and establish their own home from the beginning. It is imperative that they leave parents emotionally so they can be devoted to their mate.
The principle goes deeper than just the leaving of parents to hold fast to the mate. If a marriage is to work we must leave behind old relationships and devote ourselves to the marriage. It is amazing to me that so many people get married and still continue relationships with old boyfriends or girlfriends. I used to hear about people still calling or getting calls from their former partner, but now the going thing seems to be to carry on a facebook relationship with the previous partners. If we made the decision to not be married to that partner and to instead marry someone else, it only makes sense that we will break off all relationships with the former partner to work on my new marriage and marriage partner with all my energy. The principle here is that you leave anything and anyone that might hinder the success of your marriage.
I think the principle should also apply when preachers leave one congregation to go to work with another one. Too often after they have left and become partners with a new congregation preachers still try to maintain thier relationships with the former place and make it extremely difficult for their new preacher to ever be accepted in the group. If you are going to become the preacher at a new place, then leave the old one physically and emotionally and hold fast to the new place. It will be a favor to your new place and a huge favor to the new preacher at the old place.
One final application, if you leave one congregation of the Lord's people and go to another one to worship and serve God then leave. Don't try to hang on to the old place and the new thus having your feet in both places. There are few things more irritating than someone who moves into a new area and becomes a member of a new congretation to constantly talk about how we used to do things where we lived before. I always have the urge to say, "Hey you aren't there anymore and we could not care less how you did things somewhere else. This is how we do things here so get off the old horse and get on the new one and quit trying to ride both at once." It is equally frustrating for folks who have left to go to another place coming back to tell you how great things are where they are now. Each church has to do the work they do to fit where they are and the people and abilities there. You can't mold one after the image of the other.
After a marrage has taken place there ought to be absolutely no courtship with anyone other than the one I'm married to. That is true if it is literally in marriage and it is also true with other relationships that demand my loyalty to be of any value.
Leon Barnes
From the beginning God told them it would be necessary for the marriage for both the man and the woman to "leave" their mother and dad and "hold fast" to their wife or husband. It is all too common to see marriages in trouble because one or both couldn't bear to leave their parents and the result is they are never able to hold fast to their mate. Usually this whole thing works better if the couple literally leave mom and dad and establish their own home from the beginning. It is imperative that they leave parents emotionally so they can be devoted to their mate.
The principle goes deeper than just the leaving of parents to hold fast to the mate. If a marriage is to work we must leave behind old relationships and devote ourselves to the marriage. It is amazing to me that so many people get married and still continue relationships with old boyfriends or girlfriends. I used to hear about people still calling or getting calls from their former partner, but now the going thing seems to be to carry on a facebook relationship with the previous partners. If we made the decision to not be married to that partner and to instead marry someone else, it only makes sense that we will break off all relationships with the former partner to work on my new marriage and marriage partner with all my energy. The principle here is that you leave anything and anyone that might hinder the success of your marriage.
I think the principle should also apply when preachers leave one congregation to go to work with another one. Too often after they have left and become partners with a new congregation preachers still try to maintain thier relationships with the former place and make it extremely difficult for their new preacher to ever be accepted in the group. If you are going to become the preacher at a new place, then leave the old one physically and emotionally and hold fast to the new place. It will be a favor to your new place and a huge favor to the new preacher at the old place.
One final application, if you leave one congregation of the Lord's people and go to another one to worship and serve God then leave. Don't try to hang on to the old place and the new thus having your feet in both places. There are few things more irritating than someone who moves into a new area and becomes a member of a new congretation to constantly talk about how we used to do things where we lived before. I always have the urge to say, "Hey you aren't there anymore and we could not care less how you did things somewhere else. This is how we do things here so get off the old horse and get on the new one and quit trying to ride both at once." It is equally frustrating for folks who have left to go to another place coming back to tell you how great things are where they are now. Each church has to do the work they do to fit where they are and the people and abilities there. You can't mold one after the image of the other.
After a marrage has taken place there ought to be absolutely no courtship with anyone other than the one I'm married to. That is true if it is literally in marriage and it is also true with other relationships that demand my loyalty to be of any value.
Leon Barnes
Labels: Leave and Hold Fast
posted by Leon Barnes at 6:55 AM
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