LEAVING

When God first made the woman and brought her to Adam, surely he was thrilled to now have a companion that was a perfect fit for him. I don't think God needed to show them a training video for them to know what to do together. When Adam saw her he made one of the greatest declarations of all time about marriage and what should happen in the relationship. "Then the man said, 'This as last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." Exactly what did Adam say and what was added by God for them to understand? We don't know for sure. It's clear that Adam said she was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, that she would be called woman since she was taken out of the man. When he used the word, "Therefore" and gave directions about marriage and family from that day forward it was probably the words of God. Adam had no knowledge of a father and mother, thus no understanding of leaving them to hold on to his wife. But God whe made them, knew what was required for the relationship to work.

From the beginning God told them it would be necessary for the marriage for both the man and the woman to "leave" their mother and dad and "hold fast" to their wife or husband. It is all too common to see marriages in trouble because one or both couldn't bear to leave their parents and the result is they are never able to hold fast to their mate. Usually this whole thing works better if the couple literally leave mom and dad and establish their own home from the beginning. It is imperative that they leave parents emotionally so they can be devoted to their mate.

The principle goes deeper than just the leaving of parents to hold fast to the mate. If a marriage is to work we must leave behind old relationships and devote ourselves to the marriage. It is amazing to me that so many people get married and still continue relationships with old boyfriends or girlfriends. I used to hear about people still calling or getting calls from their former partner, but now the going thing seems to be to carry on a facebook relationship with the previous partners. If we made the decision to not be married to that partner and to instead marry someone else, it only makes sense that we will break off all relationships with the former partner to work on my new marriage and marriage partner with all my energy. The principle here is that you leave anything and anyone that might hinder the success of your marriage.

I think the principle should also apply when preachers leave one congregation to go to work with another one. Too often after they have left and become partners with a new congregation preachers still try to maintain thier relationships with the former place and make it extremely difficult for their new preacher to ever be accepted in the group. If you are going to become the preacher at a new place, then leave the old one physically and emotionally and hold fast to the new place. It will be a favor to your new place and a huge favor to the new preacher at the old place.

One final application, if you leave one congregation of the Lord's people and go to another one to worship and serve God then leave. Don't try to hang on to the old place and the new thus having your feet in both places. There are few things more irritating than someone who moves into a new area and becomes a member of a new congretation to constantly talk about how we used to do things where we lived before. I always have the urge to say, "Hey you aren't there anymore and we could not care less how you did things somewhere else. This is how we do things here so get off the old horse and get on the new one and quit trying to ride both at once." It is equally frustrating for folks who have left to go to another place coming back to tell you how great things are where they are now. Each church has to do the work they do to fit where they are and the people and abilities there. You can't mold one after the image of the other.

After a marrage has taken place there ought to be absolutely no courtship with anyone other than the one I'm married to. That is true if it is literally in marriage and it is also true with other relationships that demand my loyalty to be of any value.

Leon Barnes

IDENTIFYING LEADERS

Every business, school, church or team requires leadership to accomplish anything. Mot of the people I know think of themselves as leaders. There are some who will quickly declare "I'm not a leader, but I'm willing to work in any area you will ask me. In Matthew 20 Jesus told the story of a man looking for workers to get involved in his harvest of grapes. He went into town at all different intervals of the day asking people to come and work. Those contracted early in the morning negotiated a price for their labor. But as the day progressed the different ones hired were told to come and work and he would pay them what was right. At 5:00 in the afternoon when there was just an hour left to work he came once more to town looking for workers. He found a group of men standing idle and asked them why there were just standing there and not working. They said it was because no one had asked them. They were willing to work, but seemed to have little initiative to start anything or to push themselves forward. When he asked they went into the vineyard and worked until time to quit.

Thank God not everyone is like those men. But in every church I've been achainted with, there are many like that. They are good people, willing to work, but will never see what needs to be done and step up to do it on their own. The fact God had Paul to list leadership as one of the figts one might have in Romans 12:1-8 indicates that you can't expect to make leaders of everyone who is a Christian. When Paul wrote his final letter to Timothy he challenged him in chapter 2:1-2 to be strong in grace and the things he had learned from Paul among many witnesses he was to commit to faithful men who would be able to teach others also. The process would be never ending. We learn from someone who sees our faithfulness to God and that we have ability as teachers and leaders in His kingdom. Then we search for others who are faithful to God and have ability to teach and commit the teaching to them so they can look for others who are faithful and able to commit the teaching to them. But if we try to commit teaching or leadershp to a person who lacks either of those qualities we will frustrate ourselves and injure the cause of Christ. Think of how many times churches look for people to serve in different leadership roles. It may be as an evangelist, a teacher, an elder or a deacon. But as the search gets under way some will suggest that someone they know and perhaps are kin to woudl be great for the job. They look nice and are really successful in business and it would be great to have them leading in the church. Sadly such people are placed into a role of leadership. A few months later people are asking themselves and one another what went wrong. But, it isn't hard to figure out what happened. We have tried to make one into a leader in the family of God who is lacking in either faithfulness to God or in ability to lead. It is absolutely amazing that we will some times put people into some leadership role hoping that it will help them become more faithful. Such a reversal in what God teaches will do nothing but harm to the church.

Notice when Paul wrote both Timothy and Titus about setting apart elders and deacons he told both men to look at how the men led in their families. If one doesn't how to manage his own family how can he take care of the church of God? Many have wonderful families because their wife is a devoted, spiritually minded person determined to train their children in the Lord's way. Then a church comes along looking for a prospective elder or deacon and sees this man's good family and determines that they would serve well as leaders. If it was the one who had really led in the family that is considered for leadership it might work. But we need to see who is behind the growth and depth of the family. Timothy was a wonderful young man. What if the church looked at Timothy's devotion and thought that his dad would make a great leader since he had done so well with Timothy? The problem is, Timothy's dad wasn't devoted to God at all. It was his mother and grandmother who had faith they passed down to Timothy.

Leadership in the family of God is a spiritual gift from God. It isn't a natural ability. Don't get me wrong there are many who have the natural ability to lead. But if it isn't a spiritual gift from God they will lead, but not in a way that leads people to build their lives on the Lord and His will. They will have the church making plans based on good financial decisions and what fits best with the political powers of the day. They will listen to everything people say they want and would help them be involved. This kind of leader will carry the church in the direction of the world and miss God's plan altogether. In Mark 10:35-44 James and John came to Jesus requesting to sit on Jesus right and left hand when he came into his kingdom. Jesus told them it wasn't his to give but would be given to the one for whom God had prepared it. The ten other apostles were infuriated at their audacity. Jesus told the whole group, "You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even teh Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Think about it today. Are we modeling leadership in the church after what the Gentiles do or what Jesus said would be the case among His followers? Every time we determine someone would be a great leader because of their charm, their money making ability, their weight in the community or their political powers, we follow the world and not Jesus. If we want to follow Jesus we must find leaders who are servants, who give themselves for others and for the Lord. Every leader in the church ought to be chosen on the basis of this text and on Philippians 2:1-10. Paul challenged them to follow an upsidedown concept of leadership. "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility conut others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is your in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant." What would the church be like today in every place if its leaders, all the way from the godly mother leading the nursery, to the youth leader, to the preacher, to the deacons, to the elders of the church, had the attitude Paul wanted us to have? We put others ahead of us. We look after the interest of others and we empty ourselves like Jesus. It would be a joy to worship with such a group. Their service to the community would demonstrate Christ's heart daily. They would keep big things big things and puny things as insignificant.

God's church needs godly leaders, who are spiritually minded and are gifted by God for leadership. Let's look out on the world and see that the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Let's pray to the Lord of the Harvest to send more workers into His vineyard.